Cardinal

I wanted to share a really cool moment that happened last Saturday morning.  It was emotional and I've yet to retell the story without crying a little.  

We were loaded up in the car, about to head to our niece's softball came when my Aunt Jennie called me.  She and Aunt Patty were cleaning out some of my Granny's things, donating clothes mostly.  They came across a couple of lapel pins that I picked out Granny for Christmas a few years back.  She wondered if I would want to have them.  Well of course, I would be honored to wear them.  (Yes, I'm crying now....) 

We didn't talk more than a minute or two, I for one was trying to be strong and I didn't want to make her cry.  She was doing something courageous and I didn't want to be a crybaby. I hung up the phone and we pulled out of the driveway, headed towards the game.  I was quiet for a few minutes but then I told Mike that I still can't believe she's not here, she's been gone 3 months but I can't wrap my brain around that.  We pulled up to an intersection and I looked out the window, trying to pull myself together and with Mike and Henry as my witnesses, there was a red cardinal, hopping around on the ground, not 5 feet from our car.  

I'm sure you're wondering, "It's a bird so what's your point?"  Well this is where the tears really kicked in for me.  The morning of her funeral processional (the first attempt, the one with the awful ice storm), I looked outside the window and saw a red cardinal in the snowy trees.  I commented to Mike about the bird but then text my mom as she loves bird watching.  I simply told her what I saw and that is was beautiful.  (Seriously, it was something out of a Kinkade painting. Gorgeous.  I don't like birds or icy weather but the two together, their contrast was stunning.)  She text me back, "That means something special. Google it." I did and this is what the search returned:  

 

Yep. All the tears. 

I know that as believers, we aren't supposed to look for signs, but mercy, I couldn't help but feel like God sent a little wink to me that day and again months later.   We got to the ball game, Mike asked me if I was ok and I told him that yes, I was going to be fine, just needed to get out an ugly cry.  I told him that God is good, He knew that I needed little bird.

The days are long, but they are great

I was surfing Pinterest tonight, resting my brain after another long (but good) day. We've found that "adding just one more" is way more work than we initially thought.  It's exhausting but our hearts are full and we are excited about what's ahead. The days though, they are going by super fast. But, I digress. I stumbled upon a blog post and although I don't like to read at night (it fires my brain up and then I can't sleep), I felt like I needed to and I'm glad I did.  You can read the post here: http://knoxville.citymomsblog.com/what-stinks-about-foster-care/

We are only finishing up our 5th night as a foster family, but I feel like this post speaks volumes for the reason "why" our family chose to become a foster family.  As we've quickly learned, there are so many blessings, even in the tears. Having a chubby faced little one smile back at me when I walk in the room makes all the uncertainty and fear worth it. One of God's creations and blessings, smiling back at me. God created this little guy and He's carrying him, just like He's carrying us.

For you see, it's not about us. Our family isn't special or awesome for choosing foster care. We are selfish and scared just like anyone in this situation would be. For us though, we know that we've been called to do this, we had other plans for our life, this wasn't ever our "life-long goal" but we know that He is carrying us. Always. Yes, foster care is scary and messy and even great, all wrapped into one. But most importantly, it's about serving Christ by loving one another.