As any parent can testify to, when you announce a pregnancy, you are inundated with advice and support. Sometimes the advice is helpful and other times it keeps you awake at night. Well, on most accounts, they were right!
1. "You don't sleep as a parent." They were right. During the first week home, I found a new level of exhaustion that I never knew existed. It's not always the baby needing me, but I find myself laying awake at night for often no apparent reason. Sometimes I'm daydreaming; what will Henry be like as he grows older? Who will he look like? Act like? Who will he marry? Sometimes it's fear that keeps me awake. Is he still breathing? Is he too hot? Too cold? When did I feed him last? My mind is always thinking about him and us as a family.
2. "Babies cost lots of money." They were right. Formula, diapers, insurance, health care expenses and miscellaneous little things that he needs all cost a lot of money. We haven't even started paying for childcare yet. Yikes.
3. "Your maternal instincts will kick in once the baby is here." They were right. I've been around babies most of my life, but never really had to be responsible for one more than a few hours at a time. I was anxious while I was pregnant about how I would learn all the necessary skills to properly care for my child. Two days after he was born, he began to semi-violently throw up in our hospital room. I was all alone and knew that he needed me. My instincts kicked in and I turned him on his side so that he wouldn't choke. No one ever taught me that, I just knew what to do. I pray it always comes that easy for me. It comes surprisingly easy for Mike too. I say surprisingly as he's never really been around babies. He learned how to change diapers, feed, burp and love our child all within the first day. He loves his son and wants nothing more than to provide for him.
4. "You will know unconditional love." They were right. From the second I knew that I pregnant, I was in love. I was in love with my child, boy or girl, healthy or not. I loved this child and wanted nothing but the best. I tried my hardest to eat all the right foods and get rest when my body needed it. When Henry was born and I heard his first cry, my love deepened. I hadn't seen my baby yet, but that was the most precious noise I'd ever heard. When I held him for the first time, I felt like I had known him all my life. The bond between a parent and child is one that can never be broken.
5. "It's different when it's your kid." They were right. Thank goodness for that. I love kids when they are happy and content, but once they get out of line, I'm done. God knew what He was doing with Henry though. He made him cute so I have a longer fuse when dealing with him. Only kidding! But in all honesty, the poopy diapers, throw up, sleep deprivation and crying really hasn't phased me. He had a blowout diaper earlier this week that ended up on my shirt and I didn't even gag when cleaning it up. Ha ha!
6. "You will appreciate your parents in a whole new way." They were right. I have found a deep respect for my parents. As a baby, I tried their patience and added new challenges in their lives. I continued that trend through my childhood and into my teenage years. Even as an adult, I know I still get under their skin and I'm sure they'd still like to ground me for some of my decisions. :) They've always loved me though and that's never changed nor will it ever. I thank God each day for both of my parents. I pray that Mike and I raise Henry right so that he one day he will appreciate us too.
7. "You'll always want what's best for your child." They were right. I would give Henry my life, my body, my soul if he needed it. I never want him to do without the things he needs and I only want the best for him.
8. "It's not about you anymore." They were right. In the past, I would spend too much money on clothes and going out to eat. Okay, so I still spend too much money on clothes, but the clothes are for him, not me.
9. "Life will be a little more boring some days." They were right. Before his arrival, I thought that we would be able to integrate our child into our busy lives and keep moving at the speed of light. How wrong I was. Henry has slowed my life down more than I never could have imagined and I couldn't be more content.
10. "Your child is a blessing from God." They were right. There is no greater gift than the gift of a child. God trusted me and Mike to raise such a precious little person who will grow into a fine man someday. We will raise him in church and pray that he grows into the man that God created him for.
So, after 9 months of advice and wisdom, I'm glad to see that they were right.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Friday, April 16, 2010
Henry is Here!
I totally bombed my first attempt at keeping up with this blog, but bear with me as I make a second, more honest attempt. : )
As you probably know by now, Mike and I welcomed our son, Henry Thomas Holland into the world on Wednesday, March 24th at 2:48 pm. He weighed in at 7 pounds, 9.6 ounces and 19.5 inches long. He has gorgeous blue eyes and depending on the light, blonde to strawberry blonde hair. We're falling more in love with him each day.
Well at 8am, my water broke on its own and I was definitely singing a different tune. My word, those contractions hurt like none other. Oof! I was miserable and asked for IV drugs, still trying to hold off on the epidural. Something about a needle in my back that just didn't seem appealing. At this point, I was 3 cm dilated. They gave me a medicine that didn't do anything but irritate me and then it was on to the Stadol. I love that drug. It made me just loopy enough to space out between contractions. (I got a second dose about halfway through labor but it wore off as I started to push which was ok with me as I didn't want to be stoned for the event. :)
Around 2pm, after 90 minutes of pushing, the nurse called my OB and she showed up about 10 or 15 minutes later. She said that the baby was sideways and not going to come out. I asked her if I could keep pushing in hopes of it finally working, but she said that even if I pushed for another hour, the baby still wasn't going to come out; it was time for a c-section. Under other circumstances, I may have lost my composure (that's serious surgery and recovery), but by this time, I was ready to throw in the towel and meet my child. Mike was suited up in plastic scrubs and I was wheeled off to the operating room.
Once we got in there, I was hooked up with my epidural and a spinal block. Both were quite dreamy and a total relief. A lot of what happened from this point is a little hazy but eventually Mike was brought in the room and the c-section was under way. The anethesiologist asked Mike if he wanted to call the baby's gender. He was a little hestitant at first, not wanting to take the chance at seeing anything gorey, but he was reassured that he'd be fine. The doctor pulled the baby out and Mike stood up to see. The look on his face was priceless and one I will never forget. "It's a boy! We have a son!" Seeing the pride and joy on his face was worth not knowing the gender before delivery. I've never seen him so happy.
Henry checked out healthy so he was bundled up and brought over to us. We were finally a family. God blessed us in ways I never knew possible. I get emotional every time I think about this moment.
After a few more minutes, Mike took Henry out to the waiting room to meet our anxious, but patiently waiting family. Mike was so proud to show off his son!
Once the c-section was complete, I was taken to the recovery room where Henry was being weighed, measured, and monitored. He had the sweetest little wimper, I'm sure exhausted from the day's events. Since I had a spinal block, I was unable to move my legs. I began trembling at some point so I was unable to hold Henry. I was super bummed by this but at the same time, I was so horribly exhausted and didn't feel like I had the strength to hold him. Family members were allowed back one at a time so we were able to visit for a little bit with them before being wheeled to our postpartum room. Henry was taken to the nursery where he received a bath and immunizations. Our family watched through the windows and Mike was able to take video so I was able to watch later.
As you probably know by now, Mike and I welcomed our son, Henry Thomas Holland into the world on Wednesday, March 24th at 2:48 pm. He weighed in at 7 pounds, 9.6 ounces and 19.5 inches long. He has gorgeous blue eyes and depending on the light, blonde to strawberry blonde hair. We're falling more in love with him each day.
I wanted to write about our birth experience for memory's sake, but please don't feel obligated to read any of this. I left out the gorey details so it's still safe to read, if you have time to kill. :)
On Monday, March 22nd I had a checkup at 38 weeks, 4 days. Due to high blood pressure, dizzy spells, and a few other factors, the doctor and Mike and I agreed that it would be best to induce labor that week. So, on Tuesday, March 23rd, we checked into the hospital where ironically enough, I was already having contractions. They weren't productive or painful, but I knew it was only a matter of time before things would get interesting.
At 5am the next morning, the contractions were still going, but the nurses started me on Pitocin as planned. This drug is the devil reincarnate when it gets going. The contractions were very consistent, every 2 minutes, and fortunately didn't feel like anything more than menstrual cramps. Silly, naive me thought, "If contractions are this easy to handle, I can totally do this without drugs or an epidural."
Well at 8am, my water broke on its own and I was definitely singing a different tune. My word, those contractions hurt like none other. Oof! I was miserable and asked for IV drugs, still trying to hold off on the epidural. Something about a needle in my back that just didn't seem appealing. At this point, I was 3 cm dilated. They gave me a medicine that didn't do anything but irritate me and then it was on to the Stadol. I love that drug. It made me just loopy enough to space out between contractions. (I got a second dose about halfway through labor but it wore off as I started to push which was ok with me as I didn't want to be stoned for the event. :)
The nurse checked me a couple of hours later and I was dilated to 5 cm. Mike was getting hungry and needed a break so we told him it would be best for him to go and get some lunch. About 30 minutes later, I was checked again and was at 8 cm. I was super pleased that things were progressing so quickly, especially with it being my first delivery. Mike's lunch was cut short and I started pushing around 12:30pm. I pushed for about an hour and felt horribly discouraged. I begged for a break, but thanks to Mother Nature, you don't get a break when you're in labor or when you're pushing. Your body takes over and you're at the mercy of the entire ordeal. It's an awful feeling when you don't have any control over your body like that.
Around 2pm, after 90 minutes of pushing, the nurse called my OB and she showed up about 10 or 15 minutes later. She said that the baby was sideways and not going to come out. I asked her if I could keep pushing in hopes of it finally working, but she said that even if I pushed for another hour, the baby still wasn't going to come out; it was time for a c-section. Under other circumstances, I may have lost my composure (that's serious surgery and recovery), but by this time, I was ready to throw in the towel and meet my child. Mike was suited up in plastic scrubs and I was wheeled off to the operating room.
Once we got in there, I was hooked up with my epidural and a spinal block. Both were quite dreamy and a total relief. A lot of what happened from this point is a little hazy but eventually Mike was brought in the room and the c-section was under way. The anethesiologist asked Mike if he wanted to call the baby's gender. He was a little hestitant at first, not wanting to take the chance at seeing anything gorey, but he was reassured that he'd be fine. The doctor pulled the baby out and Mike stood up to see. The look on his face was priceless and one I will never forget. "It's a boy! We have a son!" Seeing the pride and joy on his face was worth not knowing the gender before delivery. I've never seen him so happy.
Henry checked out healthy so he was bundled up and brought over to us. We were finally a family. God blessed us in ways I never knew possible. I get emotional every time I think about this moment.
After a few more minutes, Mike took Henry out to the waiting room to meet our anxious, but patiently waiting family. Mike was so proud to show off his son!
Once the c-section was complete, I was taken to the recovery room where Henry was being weighed, measured, and monitored. He had the sweetest little wimper, I'm sure exhausted from the day's events. Since I had a spinal block, I was unable to move my legs. I began trembling at some point so I was unable to hold Henry. I was super bummed by this but at the same time, I was so horribly exhausted and didn't feel like I had the strength to hold him. Family members were allowed back one at a time so we were able to visit for a little bit with them before being wheeled to our postpartum room. Henry was taken to the nursery where he received a bath and immunizations. Our family watched through the windows and Mike was able to take video so I was able to watch later.
I spent the remainder of the afternoon and evening stuck in the bed as the spinal block hadn't worn off yet. We were blessed with several visitors all anxious to meet Henry. Around 8:30 that night, I was finally able to hold Henry and give him a bottle. I was instantly in love with our son and overwhelmed by the miracle of his life. God is so, so amazing!!
We had many more visitors over the next 3 days and I was able to get a little rest along the way. Henry checked out healthy and I was on my way to recovering from the c-section. We were released from the hospital around 11:45 am on Saturday, March 27th. I'll write more about our homecoming and first couple of weeks in a later blog.
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