What have we been up to?

What have we been up to lately?  My goodness, I'm not sure where to start!

1. Sports - Henry started playing 5U baseball in August.  It's been a lot of fun to watch him as he gets more excited and into the game each week. His coach told us that he loves it when Henry comes up to bat as he always has the biggest grin on his face.  Hitting is definitely his favorite and he's hit nothing but coach pitches (we don't need no stinkin' tee!) the last few games.  The outfield isn't as exciting and admittedly, I started bribing him with quarters for every ball he catches.  Yep, that was the perfect motivation and I was out a whole buck the very first game.  Little stinker loves his "coins" but at least he's having more fun and actually participating while standing out in the dirt.  I'm bummed the last game is this week, but definitely looking forward to next season.  His coaches, teammates and their parents have been a lot of fun to be around.  We've had lots of laughs and I hope we get paired together again next season.

 

 Something funny I want to remember - he always runs up to the plate and gets "baseball ready," long before the coach is even ready to pitch.  Cracks us up, he's ready to go! 

 

2. School -  This school year, Henry is in Jr. Kindergarten (Pre-K) and it's been an interesting adjustment.  He was split up from a few of his friends and only has one teacher now instead of two.  They have curriculum, he's learning to write and read letters and numbers.  The days are a little tougher for Henry and he's gotten in trouble a couple of times for talking during table time.  The teacher has reassured us that this is very normal as kids get acclimated to more structure and routine. Oh and he's also learning Bible verses and has a weekly memory quiz.  I love when he recites these as not only is he growing up in the Word, he's got a pretty good little memory on him.

A few nights ago he was saying the Pledge of Allegiance - we loved it! 

3. Fun stuff - Yesterday was our city's annual Fire Department Open House.  We had a good time checking out all the cool equipment.  We have our favorite firefighter (Mr. Jeremy), but we are thankful for all of the men and women that keep our city safe.

 He loved climbing around on the fire rescue boat

 
4. Glasses - A few weeks ago, we noticed that Henry was squinting when trying to see things at a distance. Sure enough after an appointment with his eye doctor, it's time for glasses.  I can't wait to see how he likes them; I'm sure he will love being able to see so much better.  I remember getting glasses when I was in first grade and I loved being able to finally see.

5. Foster family - Our foster care certifications, classes and reference checks are complete.  We still have to turn in the last half of our paperwork packet before we get the home study started, but we we've been busy buttoning up a couple things around the house first.  We are also going to have new flooring put in our living room and dining room, hallways and the kitchen.  We are pretty excited, but still trying to make the big decisions as to what we want to look at, walk on, for the next however many years.  This is the first big reno in the house so I'm a little anxious to make the right decisions.
   
6. Health - My sister has been a great mentor to me in the entire world of essential oils.  If you follow me on Pinterest, you've probably seen countless pins I've pinned on how to use which oil for all kinds of things.  It's helped our family out with allergies, sleep deprivation, energy, Henry's skin issues, colds, weight loss and even stress and anxiety.  Initially I thought the stuff was hooey, but it's impacted us in such great ways that I'm a huge proponent for it now.  I love being able to care for myself and my family without using harsh chemicals and toxins and I look forward to learning more about it as well as helping others along the way. 

7.  Work it - I started a new job last month; still in marketing but now I'm working for a restaurant instead of retail. I'm really enjoying the new work environment, processes and the people that I work with.  Each day is something new, keeps my brain busy.  I'm learning a lot about menu layouts and production which is intriguing. Funny how 3 years ago I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up, but now I feel like I'm on the right path.  I get excited over email statistics and consumer surveys and feedback, so I guess it's a step in the right direction.

8. The Man - Mike is doing good, busy at work but still has time to enjoy watching football and dirt track racing.  He even gets to play golf later this month, on a work day at that.  Hopefully the weather is nice, he deserves a fun trip.  He's a hard worker, does so much for our family, it's nice to see him getting away for a bit. 

9. Holidays - I guess the craziness of Halloween and the holidays are creeping up on us.  I'm trying very hard to keep what's important the main focus this year and to not let things (i.e. my own neurotic things have to be this way or it's not perfect) get crazy.  We made a budget for gifting and we have a couple of traditions that we will keep this year, but maybe this will be the year that's filled with happy memories, not ones of Mama breaking down because Christmas cards are going out the week of Christmas (For shame!) 

Well thanks for checking in on us. I hope to have more posts over the next several weeks as life picks up and moves full steam ahead.   Take care.

Henry

Here's another "all about Henry" post, but let's face it, it's practically a one-man show around here.

Tonight Henry is in the living room, wrestling with Mike and giggling his fool head off.  He's a wild child with the biggest heart, more energy than I know what to do with and a sense of humor that's a smidge bit warped. 

 

He brought me a dandelion and proudly proclaimed "I got you a flower!  You can take it to work and show your boss!"  Best flower I've ever received. 

Some stuff I would like to remember -
Tonight he told us with pointing hand gestures, "When you tell me it's time for a bath, I'm going to just go! When you tell me it's time for bed, I'm going to just go! When you tell me it's time to go to school, I'm going to just go!" I smiled and said that I thought it was a good idea. He coyly smiled and jumped on the couch.  We'll see how all that goes tonight.

During a talk with Mike, who hadn't shaved his head in a few days, he said lovingly "Daddy, you have some hair growing in."  I died laughing.  Mike humbly thanked him.

After coming out of church, "I didn't pee in my pants so can we sit down at Chipotle?"  (He had a minor leakage accident several weeks ago and wasn't allowed to go into Chipotle after church; apparently he learned his lesson.  You pee your pants, no going to Chipotle.

An insect/spider bite on his hand got infected so we had to make a trip to the doc for antibiotics.  He was so excited to tell me all about his broken hand that had a hole in it.  A flare for the dramatics.

 Daddies make the best jungle gyms. 

Eating Orange Tic Tacs and proclaimed "Yum, these taste like apples!"

We stopped at the vet's office yesterday and he yelled "Hey Mom! Look at those birds up 'dere!"  I hate birds. Loathe birds.  I responded, "Yep, that's disgusting."  He replied back in a tone of distain "Those are birds. 'Dere NOT disgustan!"  He sound like a bumpkin instead of the city kid that he really is. And yes, they were disgusting.

He insists that he has a baby in his tummy after eating a big meal.  Unfortunately he sometimes thinks that about others and proclaims it loudly. 

He always makes us close our eyes so he can surprise us.

After finding his baby toys in the garage, Henry asked if those were his toys.  I explained that they were too little for him and that they were going to go up in the attic.  He said "When the new baby comes, I'm going to share my toys with them."  Foster brother in the making!

 

There might have been a Nana and Papa behind this one....

When asked why there was water all over the bathroom floor, he proudly replied "Daddy, I was having FUN!"  Mike just laughed and said "Can't argue that!" 

He count to 10 in Spanish.

His current favorite movie is Despicable Me 2.  He says "This is what minions do!"

 

He's recognizing when other kids aren't acting right and it always cracks me up to hear him say things like "That baby is throwing a fit. Maybe he needs to go to timeout," and "If you throw a fit, you will go take a bath and go straight to bed."  He's learned that lesson, too. :)



Our family uses Young Living essential oils for lots of stuff around here.  If his allergies are bugging him, he will ask "Mama, can you put the oil on me?"  Well of course, baby.

I took him to church before a ladies ministry event and I introduced him to Miss Nancy and told him that she used to rock him in the nursery.  He loved that!  When Mike came to pick him up, he kept telling him about "she rocked me when I was little bitty baby. Yes. She did!"  He loves to hear stories about when he was a baby.  In an attempt to get him to be still so he'd go to bed one night, I asked him if he wanted me to tell him about when he was born.  He excitedly laid down and asked me to tell him who saw him at the hospital.  Vain much?  Anyway, I went through the whole list of visitors and I think he was amazed.  (As I was too, my how blessed we were by all of the excited family and friends.)  The next day, he told Mike "Did you know Mr. Jeremy came to see me when I was born?  He's a fireman and he's a real hero! He came to see ME!"   Someone might be obsessed with Mr. Jeremy.

He loves to play baseball, asks to play almost every night.  He and Mike have practiced so much that he's really consistent.  He's not Derek Jeter yet, but if he continues to practice and really enjoy it, I think he will be really fun to watch someday.  Heck, he's fun now, but for more entertaining reasons.

Me and my minion getting ready for fireworks on July 4th

 
We're having lots of fun watching this little guy grow up and explore the world around him.  Sure he says inappropriate things at the most embarrassing times at a volume amplified well above "inside voices" but I wouldn't change him for all the money in the world.  So thankful we've had the experience to love him and teach him, watch him grow, to laugh with him and to (secretly) laugh at him. 





 

Summer 2014

Summer has officially kicked off for our family. I know the summer season typically starts June 21st, but for us, it's whenever lake season starts.  Henry and I have already made 4 trips out on the boat in the last 3 weekends which isn't too shabby.  

 

 Ignore the For Sale sign.  You can't take our fun away just yet. Oh and the jetski isn't pictured but we love it just as much.  Mama figured out how to go over 50mph on it so there's a rekindled love there too!

I love this little boy so much.  He loves the lake and just being outside in general.  Fun times!!

 Friday was Henry's last day of Preschool.  I know it's sappy, but this was a big dose of reality for me.  This time next year, we will get him ready for kindergarten. Eeek!

 Kiki and Lucy are up to their same old routine. Lucy pesters Kiki and Kiki lazily puts up with it. 

Oh and Lucy is ever so much the Mama's Girl.  I can barely get my hiney sat down and she's up in my lap.  Luckily for her, I have some downtime planned as I work on a little something for a little lady due to arrive next month.

A few people have recently asked how the foster process is going.  Mike and I have an 8 hour training class at the end of this month and then one more 3 hour course in July, before we are done with classes for a little bit.  We are still working on gathering more household information, including the dogs' vaccination records, our finances and writing up disaster plans.  Next up will be a fire inspection, background checks, fingerprints, TB test and then our home study will start.  The home study takes about a month and once we are licensed, it could be a matter of days before a child comes to our home.  At this point we are guessing it will all be official sometime around October.  We're excited but we know it's still a long road ahead so we are taking it one day at a time.  Thank you to everyone who has prayed for us during this journey and for asking us how it's going.  You have no idea how encouraging it is to know that we have so many friends and family that are excited for our family.

Well tomorrow is the big start to Henry's summer activities at school so I better get going. Gotta get him ready for SPLASH DAY! 

Have a great week!

What Henry has been up to

It's been a while since I've updated on Henry.  He's growing up so quick!  At his 4 year well check a few weeks ago, he weighed in at 38 pounds and was 38" tall.  Sad to think he will ditch the convertible carseat and move to a booster sometime this summer.  (I know, I'm pathetic, but he's had the same carseat for over 3 years now.) He knows his birth date, all 3 of our full names and he can show numbers using his fingers.  He can draw/write with a pencil, traces letters accurately, color mostly inside the lines (he's been good at this since before he turned 3 but it always amazes me to see his accuracy) and he can count to 10 in Spanish.   He's learning Bible scriptures and knows several Bible stories.  One day he was telling us about a story that he learned in Sunday School - he said "God saved Meshach, Shadrach and Abednego from the fire.  If I was in a fire, you would have to wash my shirt."   That's quite the highlight, kid.

 

I made it to his school a little earlier than normal today and got to watch him play outside.  He didn't know I was there watching him through the window, which was really neat to see him in his school environment.  He ran his little heart out and pedaled a tricycle like a maniac.  Oh and the ice cream truck visited school today.  Little guy takes after his Mama, loves him some ice cream.  He proudly got his cup of ice cream and bolted to the car. 

He is still super fascinated with all things fire trucks and firemen.

His most recent stall tactic before bed is "I have to rescue people."  His Lego men have been subjected to every danger you could ever imagine, including getting trapped in a model Mustang, having their heads removed and tossed in his trash truck to tonight's debacle, a shark attack.  He definitely has a creative imagination.

He's also ALL BOY.  The more noise or dirt it has, he's in.  He's rowdy and loves to wrestle.  Thankfully he knows that his mama isn't too keen on these things, but poor Mike is going to need physical therapy for a while to catch up.   He loves wheels whether watching races or driving something himself.  He loves riding the 4-wheeler and driving the truck at Papa's house. Last week he told Papa "Go faster! Do it again!"  He recently started going to the dirt races with Mike - loves it!

Uncle Steve and Aunt Janet bought a new house and there was a wooden playset in the backyard.  They wanted Henry to have it, so the mover came out today and built it in our yard.  The excitement on his face was so awesome!!  He's just big enough to climb all over it, lots of years of playing and having fun to be had out here.

Some random stuff he's said lately:

• "If you wait too long to go potty, you will dance.  And you will need new underwear."
• During bedtime prayers, Henry prayed "Dear Jesus, please bring Kiki another eye so she can see really good."
• After telling Henry to go brush his teeth before they fall out, he quietly replied "Oh shoot!" 
• When he's in trouble, he will say "Yes, ma'am." Even to his Daddy.  Mommy then gets in trouble for snickering. 
• He loves to sing praise and worship songs - will even pull this at bedtime because what good parent says no to praise and worship?  I could hear him and Mike on the monitor one night last week, just praising the Lord.  At one point he said "Praise the Jesus!"  Not just Jesus, but THE Jesus.  He also calls him Jesus Messioh but we are working on the word "Messiah."
• Taylor was picking up Bryson, noticed that Henry had an accident.  He proudly proclaimed "The poop just fell out of my butt." Sounds like a personal problem kid.
• When you're grilling him to see why he behaved badly, he will sometimes say "How 'bout I don't want to talk about it 'nymore?"  The first time I laughed, but was way more careful for him not to see me laugh the second and third times. 
• He marched in the kitchen tonight, chest puffed out, dangling a pair of swim trunks, says loudly "Look at these freaking underwear Mom."  I couldn't keep my composure. 
• Time is only measured in "yesterday" and "tomorrow", no matter if it was a month ago, today or some random time in the future.  
• A couple of months back, he told me that a little girl at school scratched him.  I asked him what he does when someone is mean to him to which he replied, "I go get Bryson and we will fight her."  On the outside, I kept a straight face, reminding him that if someone is mean to us, we go play somewhere else.  Of course, I later texted Taylor to tell her his wisdom and proceeded to giggle because my kid is a maniac. 
• After visiting Uncle Hugh and Aunt Corinne, he had a little seashell that he proudly calls his "sheshell."

We have lots of fun around here, that's for sure.  I was telling the massage therapist just yesterday that when he was born, I had a hard time accepting that he was a boy.  I had my heart set on having a daughter, wasn't sure how to raise a son.  Mercy.  It's been 4 years and every day presents a new challenge.  I love that kid more that I ever thought possible but geesh, he keeps it interesting.

An Easter morning message

This morning, before heading to church, we picked up our Sunday morning donuts and dropped them off by the fire station since Mr. Jeremy was on shift.  We wanted to thank them for all that they do, especially for working on Easter Sunday.   Henry asked lots of questions, climbed in and out of the fire trucks; I think we were there about 20 minutes.  As Henry was climbing in the car to leave, a man walked up with a gas can, asking if any of us knew where to get diesel.  Jeremy told him where he thought the closest station with diesel was, and the man replied "Ok, I gotta find diesel. I don't want to be late for church."  My gut told me that this man needed our help.  I asked Mike if we could give him a ride and I'm pretty sure he thought I'd lost my mind, giving a stranger a ride, especially with our son in the car.  Not being prejudice, but this guy wasn't a helpless old lady.  He looked like an old motorcycle guy,  shaved head and a long beard.   I told Mike, "It's Easter and he's trying to get to church."  The 4 of us piled in the car and the man introduces himself to Henry first. He said his name was Shawn and then he asked Henry what his name was.  I thought it was pretty neat of him to talk to Henry. 

We stopped at the station and he filled up his little gas can and we headed back towards his truck.   As Mike was driving, Shawn said something to the effect that he doesn't let life make him mad.  We all have bad days and problems, it's all in how you react.  I told him that we learned in our foster licensing classes last week the acronym Q-TIP: Quit taking it personally.  He then told us that he and his brother were both adopted.  I was totally fascinated, not of him necessarily, but seeing God's work right in front of our eyes.  As he got out of the car, I told him "Happy Easter, I hope your day gets better" to which he replied "Oh I'm having a great day, just ran out of gas."  I had chills run up my spine as he walked to his truck.  Mike got out to help him, make sure he was able to get the truck started. 

By the time Mike got back in the car, I was crying happy tears.  I was so overwhelmed by the message and I wholeheartedly think that God wanted me to hear what this man believed.  See, last night after Henry was in bed, Mike gone to the races, I had a pity party.  I felt hurt and sad that my life didn't go the way I wanted, nothing like what I planned.  No longer will I ever have the chance to be pregnant again or experience the excitement as we waited for a baby to be born.  In that moment, I prayed for God to calm my heart, to guide me, to rid me of my selfishness.  None of this is about me or my plans.  It's about Him and His plan.  We are so excited about the journey of fostering and adoption, but the human side of me felt like a victim of an awful disease that in my tears, I felt like it had ruined my life.  After what felt like several minutes, I literally felt my body release the tension and I fell asleep.   God calmed me so that I could rest, but He gave me such a beautiful reminder this morning, grumbling doesn't change life or make it easier.  It's all in how you react to it.

Exciting news

In a post last month, I hinted that there was something exciting in on our horizon.  For nearly a year now (the seed was planted, not so coincidentally just 3 days after my first of two endometriosis surgeries last May), I felt like God was softening my heart to something I hadn’t considered for our family before.   Last year was incredibly tough, but we always felt like God was working on us, we just didn’t know how.     Mike and I knew that we wanted to grow our family but we also felt like there was something more.  I’m so excited to share with you our exciting news.  Today we took one of the first big steps towards our future – we submitted our application to become licensed foster parents!   

Our ultimate goals is for adoption, but also know that this can be a long and bumpy road. We’ve prayed like crazy,  talked with relatives and friends who have been there, done that, attended a few of the required classes, knocked out CPR and first aid and we are clearing out Henry’s toy room to make another bedroom.  Speaking of Henry, we introduced this idea to him about a month ago and he’s excited.   He didn’t quite understand that the baby/child wouldn’t come out of Mama’s tummy (this age comes with awkward questions and the never-ending fascination with pregnant bellies) but we delicately explained that sometimes families need a little extra help from families like ours.  God will use our family to help someone in need.  He was and still is very excited about being a good friend.  Every few days he will bring it up, telling us that he wants a brother and a sister.  The other night with outstretched arms, he told me “Mommy, I want a sister.  A really BIG one!”  I smiled and reminded him that God will decide who comes to our house someday.   He laughed and replied “Yes, and God will bring me a little brother too.”  My mind was thinking “tap the brakes, buddy.”  Then the very next day after leaving 5 hours of certification training, Mike said “Who knows what God will do in our lives.  Maybe we will have a baby, maybe we will have two kids in a bunk bed.”  Again,  I thought “tap the brakes.”  My brain says that we only want one kid at a time, but then I’m reminded by the Holy Spirit to “Let go and let God.”  He’s so much bigger than anything Mike and I could ever imagine for ourselves, for our family.  We are so thankful for God’s provision in our lives and we are humbled that He chose this path for us.

We hope that you will share in our excitement and prayers in the days (weeks, months, years) ahead.   

Flashback Friday - My Chair

For Henry's 1st birthday, Nana and Papa got him his own chair, with his name on it and everything.   He loved it!

Well until you put Livie in it....

"What's with this kid?"

 

"Dude, what's your deal?"

Gah, that bottom lip!

"This kid, he's a crybaby!" 

Henry, your cry-face is pathetic.

 

And then here's a great big cheese face after Livie was removed from the premises.

 

He really loves her now, but he wasn't so sure about having to share the limelight with her in the beginning. 

Flashback Friday - Eileen's Adoption Day

This picture is from Eileen's Adoption Day - April 4, 2009

 

I can't believe she's been gone longer than we had her in our lives.  This girl was a hot mess with only 3 legs, overweight and did things that good behaving dogs wouldn't even think about.  She also had a heart and a spirit both bigger than life.  I can't say enough good things about this sweet soul.  So thankful that she was a part of our lives, if even for just a little while. 

Flashback Friday - Drag Racing

These were taken sometime in 2007.  Oh how I miss drag racing.  Maybe someday when I make the big bucks or get lucky playing the lotto, I'll get to pick this hobby up again. 

 

What's even better, Henry is now more than halfway to 8, which is a big year according to the NHRA.  :)

 

 

A letter to Henry on his 4th birthday

Henry, today you are FOUR years old!  You are already very proud to be four, you showed everyone at church Sunday how many fingers that is. 

You're the light of Mama and Daddy's lives and the center of attention around here.  You make us laugh with your boy antics - you thinking tooting is the most hilarious thing, as well as name calling.  You recently started calling us "Chicken face" and then laugh maniacally.  Your sense of humor is twisted just like your Daddy's.  You find entertainment in watching people get hurt on the tv show Wipeout.  You play nice with Mama, but typically wear your Daddy out at least on a nightly basis. At least once a day, you will instigate by saying "Daddy, let's wrestle!"   Needless to say, you and Daddy both sleep well at night.

You keep Mama and Daddy young at heart

Here's just a sample of the things you said today:

• "If you wait too long to go potty, you will dance.  And you will need new underwear."
• After accidentally hanging up on Mike while driving home from school, you chimed in from the backseat, "Mommy, let's try this again."   Mama was still laughing when Daddy answered the phone.
• Daddy told you that you were his best friend.  You replied back with a sentimental "Aw!" 

You love being at school and the teachers are full of compliments when we ask how you're doing there.  You are very good at tracing your letters and coloring in the lines.  You've learned lots and lots of Bible stories and you know a few Scripture verses as well.  You know your colors, shapes and lots of letters.   You love music and fitness classes.  You have a handful of friends that you play with consistently- Bryson, Jacob, Eli, Jeffrey, Kolt.  You also have a couple of girls that make you blush when we ask about them - Skylah and Lily.  Even though you call her "Bryson's baby sister", you're still very sweet on Brystol.  

The board outside of your classroom at school today

You also love your cousin, Livie.  You often say that she's your cousin AND your best friend.  It's the cutest thing when the two of you hug each other.  Y'all play pretty good together, even if just side by side.

You have a ton of energy and a laugh that is contagious.  You're a little shy with people you don't know well but they can usually win you over with a high five or a fist bump.  Then they've got a new friend for life and you're quick to talk their off.

This picture sums up the last 4 years - a blur with a great big smile

We are so thankful to have you as our son.  Every day is a new adventure in raising you.  Some days  are down right tough, but we love the person that God created you to be.  You really are a gift from God. Your first 4 years have been nothing short of amazing and we can't wait to continue each new day with you.  We love you!


Mama and Daddy

The first step

I figured it was time to write out my feelings on this, put them down so that I can reflect someday if I need to.  That's what's so great about this blog, it helps me to keep memories of our family but also how I feel on things life throws our way.  Typically I write about Henry or something fun our family has done.  This post isn't all happy, but it does have a happy ending.

When I was a teenager, I was diagnosed with endometriosis.  My doctor suspected it but it was confirmed when I was 19 after having surgery to have a ruptured ovarian cyst removed.  Over the next nearly 12 years, I ended up having 6 more surgeries to remove endo including two back to back last summer.   I was referred to an amazing doctor last May who really gave us hope that he could help relieve my pain and possibly someday I could get pregnant again.  That was the only reason I continued dealing with the pain, I just wanted to have another baby.   More on that in a bit....

In January, after another horrible round of pain and my doctor telling me that he didn't feel that another surgery to remove endo and adhesions would help me get relief for any longer than 3-6 months, I was devastated.  I felt like the world was crumbling around me.  Not only was I still not pregnant, but the outlook of a pain-free life felt dismal at best.  The first night, I was so sick with grief and the second night, I was speechless, didn't want to talk about any of it.  Anyone who knows me knows that this is a rarity. I always have an opinion and I always want to talk, even about nothing at all.   The third night though, I felt more confident about my thoughts than I ever had before.  I was a little nervous to tell Mike for fear of him trying to talk me out of it, but I told him that I wanted to have a hysterectomy.  I wanted to rid my body of all the junk that was causing not only my body pain, but our family as well.  Not only did endo affect me, but Mike was taking on so much responsibility to keep up with Henry and the chores around here.  He hated seeing me suffer and I felt guilty because I wasn't the wife or mother that I wanted to be or that they needed me to be.  I know it was especially hard on my parents and family seeing me go through that.  I know they were worried and didn't want me to be saddled with it.  Nothing good was coming from any of this.  Mike was nothing short of supportive and we talked for a couple of hours about what this would mean for us.  It was probably one of the best conversations we've had in years.

I called my doctor's office the next day and made an appointment 4 weeks out to talk to my doctor about everything involved.  We met with him the first week of February and he said he could do the surgery Feb 21st.  Sign me up!  He cautioned that I may still have pain later on down the road (adhesions/scar tissue), but that removing the two trouble makers would give me an immense amount of relief.  Again, sign me up!

Of course I talked a big game leading up to it, but ended up having a bit of a freak out moment the night before.  I called Mike at work, blubbering like a fool. "I can't do this. I'm not going to have the surgery."  He asked me why not and all I could tell him was that I was scared.  "I can't undo this. I can't change my mind after it's done."  He agreed but then gave me the peace I needed.  He reminded me that this was the absolute only way for me to move on with my life, to get rid of this constant pain.  He reminded me that I would continue to live my life on pain pills and miss seeing Henry grow up because I was laid up in the bed half the time.  He was right. I couldn't back out on the chance to make a major improvement in my life, in our lives.  I knew I was ready, just needed a little reassurance is all. :)

That morning, I was a little anxious about all the normal silly what if's (What if I died?  What if this, what if that?) but on the other hand, I was so ready to get the show on the road.  Mike and I were met by a deacon of our church when we first got to the hospital.  It was a HUGE relief and a good distraction from what was ahead of me.  After some small talk about how early in the morning it was, he prayed over us, gave me a big hug and headed out for his next stop.  Mike and I snuggled up in the lobby and giggled about a few things and before we knew it, the nurse called us back.  She said things were going to move fast and furious, which to me was a huge relief.  I just wanted to wake up and it all be over.  Mama and Daddy showed up not too long after I got situated.  I don't remember a whole lot because of the meds, but I was comforted having them there.  Mike said a prayer and I posted a happy face on Instagram. I was ready.

It was all so surreal.  Here I was, 31 years old, doing something I once thought only old ladies did.  Well how about that?  The truth is, I've known since I was in my early 20s that this was on the horizon for me.  And to be even more transparent, I've looked forward to it for nearly as long.  I knew that I wanted to have two kids and then a hysterectomy would be in the cards.  God blessed me with a precious child and he has been a gift to me and Mike and our family since the day he arrived.  We wanted "just one more" but that wasn't in the cards for us, at least not by conventional methods.

The surgery itself went good, especially for me because I was getting the best sleep in months.  My doctor showed pictures (might be TMI, don't read the next sentence if you can't handle girl stuff) to Mike and my parents afterwards.  Basically my uterus, ovary and intestines were completely stuck together.  He said it was no wonder I was in so much pain.  None of those things are supposed to touch each other and in fact, he had separated them just last June.  Endometriosis and adhesions were also removed and will hopefully never return. 

That night, a good friend and deacon of our church came to visit for a bit.  I don't remember much about that night, other than I couldn't stay awake to save my life.  I learned a week or two later that my sister and I had a lengthy phone conversation, definitely don't remember that.  I also had a bit of a panic attack in the middle of the night but the nurse was awesome and helped get me settled back down.  My oxygen levels bottomed out several times and I was labeled a "trouble breather."  Gee, aren't narcotics great?!   After an eventful morning with yucky details, I went home Saturday afternoon.  I spent the next two weeks at home resting with the exception of going to church one Sunday and working part time from home the second week.  Mike and I really enjoyed our quiet time together, especially during the days when Henry was at school.   I was glad for the normalcy to slowly creep back into our lives.  Life is normal for the first time in a very long time.

Here I am, one month (4 weeks) out and I know without a doubt that this was the right decision I could have made for myself and for our family.  I feel amazing compared to how I felt before the surgery.  The constant ache is gone.  The uncertainty of how long is this gonna last is gone.  The nights of crying, feeling sorry for myself and praying to God to take it all away, yep, those are gone too.  I've lost nearly 15 pounds because I'm no longer eating my emotions. (It's certainly not because I've been working out. Ha ha!!)   Thanks be to God for His provision and new direction in my life.  Sure there are times that I think "Huh, I won't ever be pregnant again" or have any more biological children but with all my certainty, I'm ok with that and I know that Mike is too.   God blessed me with the chance to be a mother and I want to be just that.  I want to raise Henry each day, not just on the days that I feel good enough.  And who says we can't have more children? 

To be continued....

Attitude

I'm writing this not to brag or boast, but because we've all had days as parents that can feel really rotten but end up turning out to be the best teaching moment for both the parents and the kid.  Tonight was one of those times.

When I picked Henry up from school, he was happy to see me but by the time we backed out of the parking space, he quickly turned on me, all because I wouldn't go back in the school for his bunny.  I don't know what is so special about this bunny; it wasn't in his cubby or in his take home folder.  I still don't know what bunny he is talking about, even through the snotty nose and crocodile tear-filled eyes.  When I tried to divert his attention to something else, all hell broke loose, at least in that little carseat of his. 

I'm exhausted but I remember some advice that a friend gave recently. If you're going to change your voice, lower it.  I calmly explained that if he didn't quit throwing a fit, there would be no tv tonight.  No tv?  In the Holland house?  Is the world ending?  I'll be honest, after working all day and dealing with traffic, nights typically consist of me turning on Thomas the Train or something as equally annoying, just so I can get dinner cooked before Mike gets home.  Fine mothering skills I know, but, he doesn't watch tv at school nor does he watch it the entire evening.   This was going to be a challenge for both of us, but I'm the adult which meant I couldn't give in.  I'm exhausted - health, work, moving at the office, family stuff and now a melt down over this bunny.  Oh to give in, turn the car around just to make it stop.  I just kept going towards the house, no anger in me but he had enough for both of us.   He wasn't amused and honestly, I think he thought I'd forget about the punishment.  Moms aren't as smart, ya know.

We got home, still no tv.  He sulked but as soon as supper was ready, he volunteered to join us at the "big" table to eat.  This is a big deal because he rarely eats with us, typically eats in the kitchen facing the tv or front row seat in the living room, dinner on a tv tray.  The 3 of us had a great conversation and he ate really well.  Yes, I realize that's because the tv wasn't distracting him nor were the dogs by his side begging.   It was really nice and Mike and I thanked him for joining us at the table.  (I realize this confession of him watching tv while eating supper isn't winning me any Mother of the Year points, but I'm doing my best to be transparent.)

Mike then asked if we would want to go on a walk.  Henry is always on board for that!  I'm feeling much better these days so I joined them.  What a nice time we had, just the 3 of us, walking and talking.  The boys ran for a bit and the laughter filled the air.  My heart smiled and my face showed it too.  It felt so good to laugh.  Not only because of our rough start to the evening, but because I haven't laughed like that or enjoyed my family like that in a very long time.  Life has been challenging for a too long, but tonight it was just me and my two boys, laughing and enjoying a good evening together.  No tv and ironically enough, no more fits. 

Bath time was a breeze and going to bed was only met with one minute of resistance (no crying, though) instead of the usual 20-30 minute stall fest.  **Henry, if you read this later in life, please put as much effort into something you really love as you've put into avoiding going nigh' night.

I want to remember this night the next time I'm feeling overwhelmed or like I can't do this.  How many times do we as moms and dads feel like we just can't do it?  Like it would be easier to just give in, let them act like a monster but to watch tv just to get the next task accomplished.  The tv isn't to blame, it can be anything to indulge and pacify them, just until.... well until your money, time and effort is exhausted and you still have a very unhappy little person on your hands.  I love my boy and I'm thankful that Mike and I get to teach him, lead him and love on him each day.  I'm thankful that his fit tonight not only helped him get over his attitude, but for me to get over mine too.

Flashback Friday - Eileen

Eileen was our first rescue Boxer girl.  Her foster mom made this of her and Tonka.  The look on her face is priceless.  She loved everyone and not much would tick her off, but getting in her way on the couch apparently was one of her sticking points.

 

We sure do miss our girl. 

Happy 40th Mike!

To Mike Holland on his 40th birthday

 

Born to Jeff and Ruby Holland on their 5th wedding anniversary, February 28th, 1974 

 

With fiery red hair and the cutest grin to match,

your wit and sense of humor were larger than life.

 

On your first day of school when asked how you're day went, you answered with a big grin, "Everybody likes me because I'm SOOOOO funny!" 

 

You were athletic, smart and well liked, the guy that everyone wanted to be friends with. 

 

All these years later, you're still the guy who can make others laugh.  Your sense of humor can sometimes get you into trouble, but at least it's always entertaining when you're around. 

 

 

You're an amazing husband and father.  Henry and I have been so blessed by you.  I'm so proud to be your wife.  You've accomplished so much and yet you still have so many dreams. 

 

I'm so glad that I get to share the next 40 years with you, honey.  Happy Birthday! 

 

 

 

 

 

Flashbask Friday - Swimming

These pics were taken July 2011 at Nana and Papa's house one night after family dinner.  It was "cool" enough for Henry to play outside in the pool.  He had so much fun that night.

Happy Boy!

Baby Hulk

I remember him getting so mad right after this picture was taken, because he had so much water in the bucket, it was too heavy to pick up.  He definitely has an Ament temper!

 

I sure miss how cute Henry was at this age, but honestly, the toddler years were the toughest and I'm ok that they are behind us.

 

Flashback Friday - Grandparent Edition

I thought for this Flashback Friday, I'd pull recent/old pics of my grandparents.  I'm so very blessed to have all 4 of grandparents and even better, all 4 of them are within a half hour drive from my house.  I know I'm not old by any means, but I also know that there aren't too many people who can make this same claim.  Nikki can too, but I don't think I know anyone else who can.

Granddaddy and Granny

D-Dad and Ge-Gee

 When Henry was born, my goodness how blessed was he to have 4 grandparents AND 4 great-grandparents.  A very loved little boy to say the least.

"Granddaddy" - not only do they color coordinate their clothes, they share names; Thomas Henry and our Henry Thomas.  Total coincidence as I didn't know that my grandfather's middle name was Henry before picking his name.  Granddaddy is a great story teller.  He always tells a joke when you see him, some of them will make you turn a shade of maroon.

 

"Granny" - you've probably seen a FB post or two from me about this precious woman.  She recently turned 91 and she's one of the strongest women I know.  Over the years, she's made countless afghans and hats for her kids, grandkids and great grandkids.  One of my most prized possessions is the yellow blanket that she made for "Baby Holland" when I was pregnant. 

 

 "D-Dad" - this man, you have to watch out for him.  He's observant and quiet and you know what they say about the quiet ones.  He's got a soft spot for his family but the first time I ever saw him cry was at my sister's wedding.  He would do anything for his "kids" and the same for our kids too.

 

"Ge-Gee" - she's the one to go to for spoiling.  When we were kids, she would keep me and Nikki for a week and indulge us on dessert, movies and new school clothes.  She let us watch Dirty Dancing, but made us bury our heads in our hands during the kissing scenes.  Now, she keeps our kiddos when school is closed or if I or Nikki is caught up at work.  She loves to go to the movies and makes a mean chicken fried steak.

 

We our so very blessed to have our family, including our precious grandparents