You can read the first post in my series on foster care awareness here.
So a question we've been asked plenty of times, what made you guys decide to be a foster family? Well aside from the seeds being planted along the way and feeling like God was calling us to do so, we felt like we had the resources to be a foster family. In no particular order, Henry really wanted siblings, we had the financial means to support another child, our family was supportive, we had great friends and our marriage was strong. We felt like we had a "picture perfect" life that could sustain adding to our family, either temporarily or long term. And by picture perfect, I certainly don't mean that we thought that we were perfect. That's far from the truth, we have our challenges and downfalls just like everyone else, but we felt that with enough faith, prayer and hard work, we could be a safe place for a child in need. Plus, we knew we had 30+ hours of training ahead of us and surely that would be enough to at least get us started. Later on in the month, I'll get into how inadequate we quickly felt after our first placement. But for now, we will start pouring the foundation for that walk.
For many years leading up to this decision, my body was riddled with endometriosis. Chances are you know a woman, if not several of them, that have this sometimes debilitating disease. I started showing symptoms in my late teens, had one ovary removed at the ripe age of 21 and went on to have a total of 7 laparoscopic surgeries before waving the flag of surrender for a total hysterectomy at the age of 31. That decision was a long time coming and once Mike and I discussed it, we both felt like that decision was the only one that made sense if having a baby the good old fashioned way wasn't in the cards for us. My doctor who specializes in endometriosis, whose work has been published and has students and patients from as far as Europe and beyond, agreed that my body just wasn't ever going to make a come back from the damage that had been done. After my spay, as we jokingly call it, he told me that while not likely at all, had I gotten pregnant, it would have most likely been catastrophic for me and/or the baby as my insides were not competent or capable to sustain life. That was all I needed to hear to know that the right decision had been made. Again, God was sowing those seeds, removing doubt and making sure we didn't live in regret of that final decision. It's been more than 5 years and I don't question if the right decision was made. I know it was.
In the spring of 2014, we started our foster care licensing after finding an agency that best suited our preferences. (Which reminds me, I definitely will write about making the right decision for an agency because as I've seen through our experiences and through my CASA work, there's a huge variety of directions to go.) Mike and I went to 1 or 2 trainings a month and we started learning a lot from others in the class that were already foster parents (these FPs were getting in their continued education hours that are required each year). After some classes, we would feel energized and excited about the future but other times, I for one would leave feeling overwhelmed and terrified about all the what ifs. Mike was really encouraging to me especially, reminding me of all we had already come through and that nothing in life worth having is easy. Someone along the way told us, "If foster care were easy, then everyone would do it." We decided that it was ok for us to take the road less traveled because we were comforted that God would guide us through it so we could be what these children needed.
I'll write more tomorrow about licensing and what all that entails. Thanks for reading so far.
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