Perspective

As far back as I can remember, our family has used the term "cranky pants" for whenever someone was just that, cranky.  If you're not playing nicely, you have cranky pants.  Well, I for one, have been wearing my cranky pants for way too long.  There, I said it.  I'm telling you this now to hold me accountable.  If you catch me being cranky, call me out on it.  I don't want to wear cranky pants any longer.

Let's get to the root of the problem; why have I worn cranky pants for so long?  Easy answer: y'all, I'm tired. I haven't had an uninterrupted night of sleep in 6 months.  As soon as my alarm clock goes off at 5:15am, or the baby wakes up, whichever comes first, my day starts.  There isn't time for "me" aside from going to the bathroom or driving to work and let's face it, neither of those is fun or about me.  After I get the kids out the door for school, it's time for work and while I enjoy my job and the people I work with, I struggle turning off my mind to all that needs to be at home.  Laundry to be done and put away.  Dogs that need attention.  Meals to cook and clean up after. Paperwork.  Seriously, foster care paper work has made me more organized and over it all in one breath.  Errands need to be run.  A house that needs to be cleaned. Stories to be read.  Kids to be prayed over.  Patience to be had.  I haven't stepped in my craft room for creative purposes in I don't even know when.  (Baby Sister moved in there in October, but all I see now is her crib and changing table.)  After the work day, I get back in the car, try to listen to the radio and decompress.  I don't have a stressful job, but my brain is tired by the end of the day.  And I know that five or six hours of broken sleep isn't helping that.  By the time I get Henry picked up and home, thankfully, Mike is usually done cooking dinner.  He's charming and he cooks!  Winner winner, chicken dinner! Dinner is usually entertaining and I cherish the time we're all together, no tv, just the 5 of us.  Bath time, bed time routine and by 9pm most nights (until the baby started teething!!) all 3 precious cherub faces are quietly dreaming away.  Peace and quiet is my favorite sound.

Not time to rest though.  Now it's time to get ready for the next day, do the dishes and put away the load of laundry that's anxiously waiting to be bailed out of the dryer.  By the time I lay down, I don't want to go to sleep because it's just at this moment I get time for ME! Mike and I have made it a point to spend at least 30 minutes together nightly which has been a much needed change.  30 minutes is tough though because I know I need to be asleep, but gosh, I haven't really talked to my husband all day.  Plus, before Baby Sister came along, we had about 2 hours a night to hang out.  I usually stay up too late and regret it in the morning. Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Sounds like a big pity party and I promise it's not that.  Just explaining why my attitude stinks, that's all.  It's a lot of work to be a parent and pair that with working full time and trying to be everything to everyone, I'm burned out.  Our pastor has a saying that I really like "Quit your stinkin' thinking!"

See, it's not all challenging.  We have been SO blessed recently and for years prior.  Sometimes I have to stop and remind myself that God never promised us that life would be easy.  He didn't make it easy on his son Jesus, why would I expect anything superior? 

So I'm counting my blessings.  I have an amazing husband (remember, he cooks!) but we share a great life together.  I can be snarky or cranky for a little bit and he doesn't hold it against me.  He makes me laugh and he supports my crazy ideas (Let's have 3 kids, she said.)  He takes his family to church every Sunday and is teaching his son how to be a man. He's been with the same company for almost 10 years and he makes an honest living, he takes pride in his work.  He's been faithful to me for nearly a decade and tells me that he's proud of me.    Our parents, they are nothing short of amazing and not only did they raise awesome kids (Ha!) but they are actively involved in their grandkids' lives as well.  We couldn't do this parenting gig without them, that's for sure.  We have awesome friends and extended family, too that support and encourage us.  We have a weekend trip planned, just the two of us and I'm really looking forward to time to reconnect and quite honestly, to get even just one night of sleep!!  We also have a family vacation planned soon and I'm excited to get away and explore a new place.   I've been able to get out more and do fun things and Mike has too.  We are currently in the middle of a kitchen renovation and we are super proud of that.  We've had a janky kitchen for too long and it's so nice to put money into fun stuff for the house instead of a new fence or new roof like years past.

Cranky pants are off and I feel better now.  Sometimes all we need is a change of perspective and I know without a doubt that I've been more than blessed.  Blessed beyond measure.  I hope if nothing else, you're encouraged to see the brighter side of life as well. The challenges in our lives are often God's way of bringing out bigger blessings or helping us grow out of our selfish punk attitudes.  Let's make it a great week.  You might be the smile someone sees when they need it most.