Today I had a mess on my hands, like a full blown mess, a GIANT knot. A couple of weeks ago, I borrowed some aprons from my friend Katie for a party and I told her that as a thank you, I would wash them. Doesn't sound like a big deal but I loathe laundry so this really was a sacrifice. Admittedly, they sat in my car for over a week and today and I knew that it was time to wash them. Like a rookie, I threw all 18 aprons in the washing machine together and much to my surprise, and annoyance, every single tie was tangled up together to form not only a giant, tight knot, but a wet, giant, tight knot. Ugh!
My apron heap straight out of the washing machine looked
a little bit like Darth Vader.
That face though....
Quickly into my frustration, I began thinking about a time when my Granny and I were untying a giant yarn knot. To give you a backstory, the following is an excerpt from a passage I read at my Granny's funeral in 2015.
Granny
loved to tell us stories from the past and personally, they were enjoyable, felt
like a glimpse into the good ol' days. Over the past several years, if
she wasn't reminiscing, that's when I worried most about her. In the few weeks
leading up to Christmas 2012, she was in a rehab center after a prolonged
illness. The local family members tried to stagger our visits to where
she never went more than a couple of days between visitors. One afternoon
after work, I picked up a little plant for her room and went for a visit. When
I got there, she was sitting in a wheelchair, fiddling with a mess of yarn that
had knotted up on her. I don't know if it was her illness or the yucky
medication she was on, but she was struggling to communicate with me, all of
her sentences were jumbled, bit and pieces of different stories.
Heartbreaking. She fiddled with the yarn while we talked. I had
grabbed one end of knot and we were making progress but my Ament-attention span
kicked in and I asked if she wanted me to cut it to make it easier to untangle.
She smiled and coyly said "You can't give up. You gotta keep working at
it." I silently prayed that she would keep fighting, keep working at
it. None of us were ready to let go of her and I felt reassured by the Holy
Spirit right then and there that she wasn't ready to let go either. After
lots of pulling, untangling and giggling, the knot came loose. She was
right. We had to keep trying. I've replayed that afternoon in my
mind a dozen times or more over the last two years. "You gotta
keep working at it."
Maybe you're thinking about your knot or multiple knots for those who are doing it up big. I have a small knot I need to fix, it won't take long to untie, but I'm afraid of picking at it and making it worse. Sometimes the smaller knots are the most intimidating. My bigger knot is much like my heap of wet aprons. The knot is metaphorically speaking about a challenge in my life, my persistent need to be doing and inability to say no, those close to me know about my knot and have seen the frustration while I've tried doing it by myself, not wanting to ask for help. But I think about my Granny sitting alone that day. There's no telling how long she fought with that yarn. Her body was tired and her brain was foggy from heaven knows what she was going through. While I didn't rush in and save the day, I was there to help with some of the pulling and moving that eventually got it out. Isn't it wonderful having help with your knot? Everything is wound tightly, yet I remain hopeful that one good pull in the right direction will set it all free. Life's not that easy though and it's gonna take a lot of work on my part to untangle that knot. One thing I know for sure, I know God will guide me to get it untied but hopefully not completely unraveled.😉
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